poem in which i am a real person at the hairdressers

instagram sounds ok she say.
yes i have been there once or twice in my youth
i say, it is a bit like the 80’s when groups of friends were
still american.
oh ya, she say and looks at herself over my hair-
i remember that- i went to see bands that weren’t famous.

yeah, me too! i say. in the 90’s it was the same.
remember t-shirts with pen on? and lockjaw? we laugh.
yeah we were crazy back then.
i stare at my face.
nowadays though of course i am a grown up, it means some things.
oh yeah for sure she say.

nowadays i have different outlooks, with alternating colours in them-
death is close. maybe i will have a staycation instead on twitter-
it is colder there but with content.
nah she say,
twitter is kinda dirty. i stare out the window and see a small
dog in a hand-knitted jumper. the old crafts are back in.

my hair is coming on, it is in a shape.
my boyfriend is at war again she say-
he is asleep. she corrects her posture.
ages ago he was a hunter-gatherer.
yeah i say, i know what you mean.
a song comes on, it say
do it do it
do it, shake!
i love this one she say and moves her hips. an old lady
is authentic in the corner.

seen any films lately? say the man slightly to the left.
oh ya say my one,
it was about how we’re all the same and do the same things.
great! say he. you’re not married are you?
he looks at me all vicious.
no i say, i am married to myself!
at least you won’t ever leave yourself! he say.
no i say, i will never forget my own anniversary!
it doesn’t quite make sense but everyone laughs.

it is quiet then apart from
do it do it
do it shake! and all suddenly awkward.
the old lady takes out a handkerchief like a prop and blows out her ancient insides.
the problem with you youngsters she say is that you get bored of things too easily.
it is a pretty boring thing to say.
i can’t even finish an article i say, let alone a life!
this time no one laughs- it really doesn’t make any sense.

Emma Hammond


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